A Tug of Wars

“So, what's up?” Henry had to ask that question to me at Starbucks in our obligatory monthly encounters since last meeting at Enchanted Village over a month ago.

Like Thelma is to Louise, Henry has always been my dude since getting to know him way back. During our younger years, the two of us would hang out here at Washington and fuck shit up, as we go to bars, shoot pools, and do really stupid things.

However, our maturity has gotten the best of us over the years, as we now have our careers and other responsibilities to handle. Nevertheless, the both of us still managed to stay connected after years passed to relive our glory days as nincompoops in college. Come to think of it, our friendship has endured turbulent and stormy times, and yet here we are, having a nice, hot cup of good ole' brewed coffee. Without the sugar.

“Nothing that would grab your attention. How about you?” The first few minutes of our encounter has already got me lying. There is something with me right now that would definitely grab his attention.

I have been regularly chatting with Verona, also known as Tonga, at Fling.com days after searching for her profile at this online dating site. She happened to remember me from Club 9:30, thank God, as we carried our conversation from there. It felt so natural, as I just let the words at the top of my head and my finger typing the words weave magic. It's like she was talking to me not because she's obligated to, but because she wanted to. That never happened to me, up until then.

“Well, since the last time you saw me, I would say I'm in pretty low spirits right now...”

“How about the girl from the site you were telling me about? Was that Fling? Are you still dating her?” I asked this question harboring a feeling of guilt and shame. There is a part in me that wants to ask how he is coping up, and for me to admit that I am responsible for Verona's sudden change of heart. But I cannot muster the strength to confront Henry with these confessions, as I continued to play along with the conversation.

“Not anymore. In fact, I haven't seen her for quite a while.” I have heard about the lack of communication between Henry and Verona, and I personally know the reason why. One day while I was chatting with Tonga, about to indulge in another round of useless bickering and life musings, she bluntly stuck a knife in my conscience when she said that she stopped seeing Henry for good because she has found a more interesting person at Fling.com. I asked who that lucky dog might be, she answered, “You, silly!”

I felt uncomfortable after what he said. Dead air filled the silence, and it was only a matter of time that our bland engagement had to end because Henry needed to attend to business matters. As he listlessly left from the place, the burgeoning guilt has finally sunk in, and it got me questioning the things I have been doing these past couple of weeks. .

My sessions with Verona at Fling.com were merely intended as friendly gestures, since she was kind enough to give me her number before. Although I may be accused of having impure intentions at first, I never meant to destroy the friendship that I have with Henry, since I know that he still has feelings for her. It's like betraying my own flesh and bone, and I don't want any part of that.

At the same time, however, the seeds of a beautiful, budding relationship is already coming into fruition. It would be such a waste if I let something like this wilt and die.

What battle should I pick?

My Fair Verona

For weeks now, I have been trying to give Verona calls in the morning, noon, afternoon, evening, night, and everything else in between. However, there's no one answering her phone. The line just kept ringing like a story that ended happily ever after, but you don't know what degree of happiness the story ends with. On the upside, she doesn't have any answering machine, so there's no way she'd figure how much of a loser I really am.

But then again, I'm not really great in calling and pestering women to whom I'm attracted to. Before, I was a geeky kid who wears dental braces and sports a bowl cut during high school, but it would come to no surprise that I had an extremely low self esteem, which did not win me a lot of girls during those times.

However, life has taught me a lot of lessons. One of those invaluable lessons is to not give a flying fuck what other people think about me. As long as I'm comfortable with who I am, then everything is going to be alright. Since then, I became a person who started living his life the way it needed to be lived. A loser, you might ask? Yes, I'm still a big-ass loser. But a proud one, I might add.

Recently, as all of you might know, I have been in the mood of doing things I haven't done before. Such that, it doesn't matter if I fail in what I would end up doing, or I die doing it (although I sure hope I don't), but the important thing is that I want to do it, and in turn, I learn something from it in order to make my life meaningful in the process. Although giving her a call isn't really a big leap, but at least it's something. To hell with insecurities! It's all about taking risks, baby!

However, her negligence in answering my calls has got me questioning a lot of things, like for instance, did she give the right number that night at the 9:30 Club, is her name really Verona, are her breasts real, stuff like that. Then, I just realized, if she's not answering her phone for me to talk to her, then there's this other way to get in touch with her. I'll search her profile at Fling.com instead!

Yeah, I know what you're thinking, pursuing a girl from a lame online dating site. But then again, I don't give a rat's ass what you think.

If I remember correctly, my friend, who was dating Verona, mentioned her username to me. I have thought of the ethical dilemmas that would pose as a problem once I start dating Verona, but I don't want to get ahead of myself. I'll take it one step at the time, that is, to just say 'hi' to her, and hope that she say something in return. I think there's no harm in doing that.

After registering and paying for my profile at the site (damn their services!), I warily searched for her username. But before doing that, I took a peek at some of the women profiles there. Hey, I can't help but appreciate a fine piece of work whenever I see one. And besides, it's the first time I've been in an online dating site, so my raging, unadulterated hormones are justifiable.

After ridding myself from the distractions, it was time to get serious, as I focused on the goal on which drew me to Fling.com in the first place. I slowly and precisely typed her username, just to make sure I won't get it wrong. And then for a moment, lights from the window shone brighter than usual, and the trumpets from the heavens blared their majestic sound unto which seemed to be one of the most glorious seconds of my life.

Tonga.