Starting Somewhere...

Hey there! I've been relatively new here at Blogger, and I got pretty fascinated with this 'blogging' phenomenon, so I thought of trying it out for myself as well! So far, I'm still trying to get a hang of it because I found it hard to organize my thoughts, so you might find this post a bit boring. But hey, everybody has to start somewhere, right?

To be honest, I made a blog because I want to 'free' myself, you know? Ok, that sounded kinda gay, but I can explain... For a while now, my friends have been telling me that I've been “living in a box”. Meaning, I've been living my life inside my comfort zones, which is true. I don't go out a lot, I prefer staying inside playing with my guitar or reading a good book. I have a non-existent nightlife, which pretty much kills my social life at the same time. Suffice to say, my way of living life is completely different from other people that I know.

However, this kind of lifestyle has taken its toll on my personal life. Take my ex-girlfriend for example. Our first few months together were amazing. I mean, we're talking real romance, passion, and fireworks here! Although we also endured bad times, these experiences helped me become a better person in the process.

However, as time went by, I felt that our relationship was starting to drag. The spark was gone as we were doing the same things all over again, and I felt she was starting to lose interest in me. Eventually, she said that it was better for us to break up and lead separate lives. Our breakup had me depressed for a long time, because not only did I lose a good friend, but I didn't understand what went wrong in our relationship.

One time, because of too much grief, I called her up and asked how she was doing. It was the first time that I got to talk to her since we broke up, and it was a good thing that she wasn't really doing anything before I called. Anyway, we were just talking and catching up on lost time, when I eventually brought up the topic of our breakup. At first, I was reluctant to ask the question on what really happened with our relationship because I wasn't sure if this was the best time to ask it, but I just had to. I really wanted to know.

She told me that her reason for breaking up with me is because I was too sheltered, and she felt that I was not willing to let go of myself. I must admit, that I had a hard time accepting that, but after giving those words a little bit of thought, it made me realize how painfully true they really are. I have done a lot of stupid things to her because of my ignorance, and I feel so ashamed of even trying to write it here on my blog. However, be it as it may, things happen for a reason. And the reason is, I simply have to become a better person.

Ever since then, I plan to do things that I don't normally do. Last weekend, my friends and I went to Enchanted Village. I'm not a big fan of amusement park rides because the last time I rode one, it was on Splash Mountain on Disneyland, it scared me until I crapped on my pants, literally! Ever since then, I swore to God that I will never ride one of these infernal machines! Well, years have passed, and it seems like I'm to ride one of these things, I guess. The ride was called Timberhawk, and it's a wooden roller-coaster type of thing.

After the ride was through, I must say that I was pretty relieved to get out from it! I was clutching to the handle bars the whole time and I was sweating like hell, while the kid beside me was screaming in pleasure like he just had an orgasm or something. My friends laughed their asses off after the ride because I looked like I've seen a ghost. But the most important thing was that I was able to get out from that ride alive.

Still, after that experience, I feel like I have done something right for myself. Good things in life don't happen with a snap of a finger. They take time in order to develop and be harnessed. What I have done, riding on a roller coaster, may be pretty fuckin' lame for some, but I'd like to think of it as a baby step to help me become a better person.

During that time, I also was able to meet the girl that my friend also brought along. We got to chat with each other, and she said that they met from this adult online dating site called Fling. Now, I'm not really into online dating, but judging from the girl that my friend brought along, she was a winner! I mean, she has the charm and personality to match her looks. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take a picture with her, but for those interested, think of a younger Jennifer Aniston without the fame. Oh yeah. Not that I want to take her away from my friend, but I can't help but appreciate the beauty of God's creations.

Anyway, I'm off now. Frankly, I feel better after having written the things that I've been keeping for so long. It simply shows how much of a loser I was. Well, it's damn time that I get a life worth living! Until next time!