People Or Principle

I'm back! A lot of things have happened this past few weeks. Well, not really a lot, but at least it's something!

Last week, my cousin has finally convinced me to join him watch a heavy metal gig at the “undisputed king of DC music venues,” the 9:30 Club. After years of resisting his invitations to join his escapades, I finally relented. Although I'm not really a fan of heavy metal, I have no problem appreciating the music itself.

But what really motivated me to join him was because I have yet to set foot in a music bar. Seriously. I may have visited bars before, but that was to play pool and drink with my friends. So there. Laugh all you want, but it's the truth. And since I have been doing this “breaking the boundaries” kind of thing, this would definitely be a great opportunity for my part.

My cousin, who happens to be a little younger than me, was stoked when he found out that I would join him that night. He's probably your typical metalhead, with the mandatory black tight-fit shirt, the leather studs, and the unkempt, shoulder length hair. Plus, he's pretty knowledgeable of all of the metal bands that's been coming around since time immemorial. Whenever he talks about music, I swear to God I can see his eyes light up, his words begin to flow like diarrhea, and his voice begins to crack up. His friends call his "Mr. Metal," and I can definitely see why.

We left at around 9 o' clock because my cousin is gonna meet some of his metal buddies, so to speak. By the time we arrived at the place, it was actually the first time I witnessed a veritable sea of black shirts parading at the entrance. I parked the car, and my cousin sprang out from the car like a kid to meet his friends. Sometimes, I'm having doubts with that guy.

Earlier, I told my cousin that by the time we get to the place, we would separate ways, with him having to go with his friends, and me doing my own thing. Now, don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with me not liking my cousin. However, since he's gonna be with his friends the whole time, I would just cramp up his style since I'm not really a sociable animal,. Plus, I want to get my way with the place by my own. It just adds to the novelty and excitement of being a stranger in a strange land.

So I was hanging out at the bar itself, drinking beer and just having my eye scour the place. The view to the stage from where I was standing was pretty screwed up since a lot of people showed up for the gig. I wasn't actually expecting a headlining metal band to draw such a huge crowd at this place. But then again, I didn't know that the headlining band was Children of Bodom.

The opening acts drew their fair share of applause from the crowd. However, not to offend the other bands, but it was Children of Bodom that the people wanted. One of the metalheads whom I got to meet filled me in on the details. The band hails from Finland, and they play what he calls "melodic death/thrash" metal. Apparently, their moniker works, because the melody, mixed with a tinge of fast and heavy parts, and topped with screeching vocals, got the crowd roaring. The band is spearheaded by Alexi Laiho, who plays guitars and does vocal duties. His command of the crowd and his unrelenting energy was simply impressive.

However, what actually made the night more interesting was that while Children of Bodom was performing, a girl bumped on my right shoulder while she was passing through, causing some of the beer to spill of my shirt and on my shoes. She happened to notice that, and even before she tried to walk away, she apologized to me. But the moment that I saw her face, her striking face was undeniable. I saw her face weeks ago when I was with my friends at Enchanted Village. She was the date that my friend met from this Fling.com. And I think she remembered me as well.

It was pretty awkward, meeting someone by accidentally pouring his drink all over his shoes. But I'd defintely settle for that, especialy with this girl. Of all the places that I would meet her, it has to be at a metal gig. We talked for a while, wondering why the hell we're at such an hell. As it turns out, although she isn't wearing the metal uniform, she happens to love the music, and particularly the band, with passion. Apparently, I never got that impression the first time I saw her. Then again, I love surprises.

After the band's set, we went outside to catch some air. The fresh scene and the street lights have somehow rekindled the face that I saw from last time. Her enigmatic face shone through her untied hair while we were spending our time together. Damn me if I forget what we were actually talking about, but as the moment lasted, I noticed that I cannot stop looking at her. It was during those moments, stealing glances at her, that some sort of fire burned inside me. Definitely not the kind of fire that burns in my loins, I can attest to that! It was more like a fire of admiration, hope, and candor.

What's even stranger was that I felt she felt the same towards me. If for the mere fact that she gave me her number after our conversation wasn't proof enough, then I don't know what is.

I left 9:30 Club feeling exalted, like a leaf being swept away by the wind to different but beautiful places. My cousin even asked why I had an awful smirk on my face. But at the same time, I felt confused, knowing that he was the girl that my friend seems to like. Suddenly, having this thought hang over my head before I got to sleep had me completely torn. But then again, isn't breaking free from my old shell and doing something different and daring what I want for my life?

The struggle continues.

Starting Somewhere...

Hey there! I've been relatively new here at Blogger, and I got pretty fascinated with this 'blogging' phenomenon, so I thought of trying it out for myself as well! So far, I'm still trying to get a hang of it because I found it hard to organize my thoughts, so you might find this post a bit boring. But hey, everybody has to start somewhere, right?

To be honest, I made a blog because I want to 'free' myself, you know? Ok, that sounded kinda gay, but I can explain... For a while now, my friends have been telling me that I've been “living in a box”. Meaning, I've been living my life inside my comfort zones, which is true. I don't go out a lot, I prefer staying inside playing with my guitar or reading a good book. I have a non-existent nightlife, which pretty much kills my social life at the same time. Suffice to say, my way of living life is completely different from other people that I know.

However, this kind of lifestyle has taken its toll on my personal life. Take my ex-girlfriend for example. Our first few months together were amazing. I mean, we're talking real romance, passion, and fireworks here! Although we also endured bad times, these experiences helped me become a better person in the process.

However, as time went by, I felt that our relationship was starting to drag. The spark was gone as we were doing the same things all over again, and I felt she was starting to lose interest in me. Eventually, she said that it was better for us to break up and lead separate lives. Our breakup had me depressed for a long time, because not only did I lose a good friend, but I didn't understand what went wrong in our relationship.

One time, because of too much grief, I called her up and asked how she was doing. It was the first time that I got to talk to her since we broke up, and it was a good thing that she wasn't really doing anything before I called. Anyway, we were just talking and catching up on lost time, when I eventually brought up the topic of our breakup. At first, I was reluctant to ask the question on what really happened with our relationship because I wasn't sure if this was the best time to ask it, but I just had to. I really wanted to know.

She told me that her reason for breaking up with me is because I was too sheltered, and she felt that I was not willing to let go of myself. I must admit, that I had a hard time accepting that, but after giving those words a little bit of thought, it made me realize how painfully true they really are. I have done a lot of stupid things to her because of my ignorance, and I feel so ashamed of even trying to write it here on my blog. However, be it as it may, things happen for a reason. And the reason is, I simply have to become a better person.

Ever since then, I plan to do things that I don't normally do. Last weekend, my friends and I went to Enchanted Village. I'm not a big fan of amusement park rides because the last time I rode one, it was on Splash Mountain on Disneyland, it scared me until I crapped on my pants, literally! Ever since then, I swore to God that I will never ride one of these infernal machines! Well, years have passed, and it seems like I'm to ride one of these things, I guess. The ride was called Timberhawk, and it's a wooden roller-coaster type of thing.

After the ride was through, I must say that I was pretty relieved to get out from it! I was clutching to the handle bars the whole time and I was sweating like hell, while the kid beside me was screaming in pleasure like he just had an orgasm or something. My friends laughed their asses off after the ride because I looked like I've seen a ghost. But the most important thing was that I was able to get out from that ride alive.

Still, after that experience, I feel like I have done something right for myself. Good things in life don't happen with a snap of a finger. They take time in order to develop and be harnessed. What I have done, riding on a roller coaster, may be pretty fuckin' lame for some, but I'd like to think of it as a baby step to help me become a better person.

During that time, I also was able to meet the girl that my friend also brought along. We got to chat with each other, and she said that they met from this adult online dating site called Fling. Now, I'm not really into online dating, but judging from the girl that my friend brought along, she was a winner! I mean, she has the charm and personality to match her looks. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take a picture with her, but for those interested, think of a younger Jennifer Aniston without the fame. Oh yeah. Not that I want to take her away from my friend, but I can't help but appreciate the beauty of God's creations.

Anyway, I'm off now. Frankly, I feel better after having written the things that I've been keeping for so long. It simply shows how much of a loser I was. Well, it's damn time that I get a life worth living! Until next time!